I sometimes wish I would have chosen to study psychology. People are so complex. Rarely does the external accurately portray what is going on inside the heart and brain, in my opinion. I may be extra critical in this area because I’ve been hurt. There are some people I need to forgive. I don’t quickly or easily extend trust. I’ve digressed. Let’s get back to the point of this post. I would like to better understand how and why humans make decisions. Man, this isn’t really a good topic for a blog post. I don’t have any expertiese or insight on this subject. I just have questions. That being said, please share with me what you have learned about people. I’d like to hear about good, bad and ugly examples. Why do people do nice things for strangers? Why do people lie to loved ones? Why do people cause physical harm? How are some able to forgive what seems unforgivable? This is getting deep. Maybe I just need to see a therapist!
Once again, I find myself starting a blog post by bringing attention to how long it has been since I’ve written (7 months). Sigh… I enjoy writing. It’s on my to do list 2 or 3 times each week. I am repeatedly guilty of pushing it off until tomorrow. Honestly, I’m only writing now because I can’t sleep. My husband, Dylan, hurt his leg while playing basketball last night. We aren’t sure what is wrong. Right now I’m just thankful he’s snoring (it’ll likely be a long time before I say that again).
Anyway, let’s get to the point. I’ve thought a lot over the last 7 months about what my defaults are when I face the various experiences life offers. I am not usually happy with the attitude and response I default to when things don’t go the way I would like them to. Sometimes I just want to be crabby. Please tell me I’m not the only one. I did have a win in this area this past Sunday. I was walking into church with my family and I said to Dylan, “it seems to be typical for me to be crabby in the morning.” He quietly agreed. Then, I made the decision not to be. It was very simple. Nothing serious had occurred that morning. I didn’t have a reason to be crabby. That insinuates there is a time to be crabby, but that’s a topic for another post. I recognized something in myself that is ugly, as I often do. I decided that I wanted my morning to be full of peace and joy so I changed my mindset. It really was as simple as making a decision to be happy and enjoy my day. I need to do that more often. I am excited about this win. It is exactly what I’ve been working on lately. It’s my intentional implementation in action. I noticed an area of weakness in myself and instead of defaulting to my normal response, I thoughtfully decided to respond differently. I know it’s very trivial. I also know that each day is made up of a large number of small decisions. What small decision did you make recently that you need to celebrate?
I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. It is 2am and I’m not going to proof and tweak as much as I normally would. Good night!
I have been absent from the blogging world for twenty one months. A lot of life has happened in that time. Lately, life has been about learning for me. Learning how to be a better wife, mother, friend, employee and leader. Some of this learning came from positive experiences that I welcomed, other learning opportunities were painful and unexpected. Why is it so easy to forget about or ignore what I’ve learned and default to old ways? Some days I reflect on what I’ve learned and make the right decisions based on the experiences I’ve had and the changes I’ve made. Other days, I feel like I’m regressing. Unfortunately, today was one of those days. I had very little patience with my girls. I started a fight with my husband for no good reason. I allowed myself to focus on the negative things and have a pessimistic outlook that lasted most of the day. Learning is easy; implementation is the hard part. I have learned a lot recently. I’ve learned about many different things, including: people, love, forgiveness, patience, joy, parenting and myself. I am all for learning new things daily, but what’s the point if that’s where it ends? It’s time to focus my attention and energy on what comes after the lesson. I need to implement. Defaults can be changed, right? I want to default to patience, optimism and joy in the midst of trials. These defaults won’t change themselves though.
Enter: intentional implementation.
More on that to come in my next post. Let’s hope it doesn’t take me 21 months to write.
Podcasts are a part of my daily life. I don’t make enough time to read these days so Podcasts help keep me learning and growing.
I subscribe to each of the following podcasts:
Eventual Millionaire (Jaime Tardy)
The School of Greatness (Lewis Howes)
Elevation Church (Pastor Steven Furtick)
The EntreLeadership Podcast (Ken Coleman)
The Chalene Show (Chalene Johnson)
The Dave Ramsey Show
Entrepreneur on Fire (John Lee Dumas)
48 Days to the Work You Love (Dan Miller)
The Biz Chix Podcast (Natalie Eckdahl)
This is Your Life (Michael Hyatt)
Working Motherhood (Dr. Portia Jackson)
Smart Passive Income (Pat Flynn)
Ray Edwards Podcast
Check one or more of them out and let me know what you think.
Happy Monday and happy learning!
P.S. Don’t forget to take action on what you learn. Visit my blog post from a few months ago if you need to be inspired to act — Learn-Act-Learn-Act-Learn-Act.
I do not want to admit how many books I have read, podcasts I have listened to and discussions with mentors I have had that resulted in me taking no action. It’s sad, and embarrassing. Where would I be today if I had acted on everything I have ever learned? Wow, what a question. I do not like to make looking back with regret a habit. Just this once, pause with me and dwell here for a few moments.
Instead of learn-learn-learn-learn-learn-act, let’s work towards:
Thankfully, I am improving in this area. Two podcasts that I listen to regularly (Eventual Millionaire and Working Motherhood) have helped me significantly. They have a call to action at the end of each episode. This helps me keep taking action at the forefront of my mind.
I love learning. I am not at all downplaying the importance of learning. It is just my opinion that many people spend so much time in the learning zone that they lose out on opportunities to implement what they have just learned.
I recently was reminded, or re-learned, that I cannot do it all. Of course, deep down inside I have always known this. It is just very easy for me to think that I can and need to do everything that is asked of me. I am currently reading Say Goodbye to Survival Mode. This book assured me that I cannot do it all and that is okay. Because of this knowledge, I am taking two actions: 1) Practicing saying No and 2) Not getting unnecessarily disappointed in myself when something does not go as planned. Learn-Act!
Appropriately, I am passing a call to action on to you. The next time you receive new knowledge, take some time to write down action steps you can implement. Be intentional over the days or weeks that follow and act!
I read this on twitter the other day: You have not chosen an easy goal, so do not expect an easy path to achievement. (Chris Hogan)
Reading this gave me a new perspective on how I think about my journey from present state to celebrating my next achieved goal. As I think about my goals, I do not classify them as easy. In spite of that, in the past I expected the steps towards my goals to come naturally and easily. Why did I think that way? I don’t know that answering that will be beneficial so we’ll focus on my new way of thinking.
Art has never been a strength for me, but I took a stab at sketching out my new way of thinking about goal-setting.
1) I set fewer goals.
2) I take time to celebrate milestones along the way.
3) I expect roadblocks and distractions.
4) I admit that I’ll need outside help.
5) I don’t allow myself to get bummed out when things don’t go as I plan.
I am expecting this way of thinking to lead me to a higher success rate of goals achieved versus goals set.
Have you ever expected the path towards achieving your goals to be easy? What do you think now after reading this post? Please share your thoughts in a comment.
Does anyone have a good answer to this question? I would consider paying money to get one.
So often I find myself sporting the unattractive accessory known as stubbornness. I want what I want because I think it’s best. There isn’t a chance that the suggestions others bring up will come close to being as smart or efficient as my idea. Ha. I know I’m fooling myself when I think these thoughts. Unfortunately, what I know does not always transfer over into how I act.
I will say that I have identified my stubbornness as an issue that I need to pay attention to. Also, I believe there is a positive equivalent to the word stubborn. This quote from Jeb Bush adequately conveys my feelings on that, “There’s a fine line between stubbornness and the positive side of that, which is dogged determination.” I am actively working on placing myself on the right side of that line.
If you are willing, please share some of your stories about this topic in the comments.